Everyone wants to eliminate stress from their lives, but sometimes it's easier said than done. Julie Woodgate offers some suggestions.

Everyone feels stressed at some point in their lives – the most quoted triggers being bereavement, moving house or having a baby – but more and more people are finding that a slow pressure build up, such as a difficult work situation or the feeling that there just are not enough hours in the day to meet all commitments, also takes its toll.

Modern life means juggling your time between home and work, emails and phone calls, children, partners, family, friends, work colleagues, and even pets. The hamster-wheel effect of rushing from one demand to the next leaves little room for 'me' time, you start to feel like you're running on empty and so your anxiety and stress levels start to escalate. If you are at the point where you are barely conscious of what you're actually doing because your mind is already worrying about the next item on the 'to do' list, it’s time to stop, take stock and rebalance your commitments.

Learn to say 'no’

You're probably already thinking 'I don't have time to stop'. Make time. Review your list, divide it into 'must do', 'can delegate that', 'can drop that/postpone it'. Action your delegate and drop lists. Now you have bought yourself some time to concentrate on what you want from life, and can factor some 'me' time into your schedule.

Examine your social, family, and community commitments and ask yourself: Is this a true obligation for me?

"It's up to you to decide which activities you feel are most important and cannot be missed," says Melissa C. Stoppler MD at stressbusting.co.uk.

"Do I want to do this? Will this activity or event bring me joy? Will my participation bring joy or happiness to someone important to me? Looking at your schedule with a critical eye will help you to target areas in which you can make cutbacks."

Don't feel guilty

"Once you have decided to say 'no', it is important not to waste emotional energy on feeling guilty," says health writer Lisa Freedman. "Remember, you don't lose friendships, people's respect, or your job from occasionally saying 'no'. Saying 'no' merely shows that you know your own limitations, and others will respect you for that."

Get help

Admitting that you have a problem is the first step to tackling it. If you're reluctant to appeal to friends or family, consider professional services from counsellors to help you through an emotional crisis to handy men who will assemble your flat pack furniture. There are people out there who can see you through your bad patch.

"I realised that there were a lot of women with busy lives who didn't have time to shop for the perfect outfit, or who wanted to change their routine but had lost their way," says Daniele Hromek, founder of bustingdiva.com. Her company offers services ranging from make-up lessons, to wardrobe edits, to clutter clear-outs – and she gets a lot of repeat business. "We have literally helped people to change their lives," she says.

For support organisations and service providers, check out nhsdirect.nhs.uk or isma.org.uk (International Stress Management Association). "You can't always be in control of what happens in life but you can always be in control of your response," says life coach Fiona Harrold (fionaharrold.com). "Don't see problems, seek solutions."

Target sleeplessness

This is one of the most common symptoms of stress. Instead of resting and recharging, you lie awake worrying and suffer broken sleep. It's a vicious cycle because the more tired you become, the less able you are to cope, which creates the anxiety that stops you sleeping. To help change a situation of insomnia:

Make sure your bedroom is a comfort zone – well ventilated and dark, clutter free, with supportive mattress and pillows. Complete all the day's essential jobs before you go to bed – postpone non-urgent tasks to the next day. It's worth going to bed a bit later, knowing that chores are done rather than lying awake worrying about them. Try not to eat anything for at least two hours before you turn in. During sleep your body repairs itself and it can't do that if it's still digesting your last snack. Avoid late night coffee, as caffeine is a stimulant, and sweet drinks, that can give you a 'sugar rush' of energy. When you get into bed, lie quietly and relax every muscle in your body, as you retreat in your mind to a place that calms and pleases you, such as a deserted beach at sunset. Focus on that feeling of relaxation and well-being as you fall asleep. Wake up determined to be positive. If you face the day with dread, it stands to reason that it will be hard work. "Negative, self-restrictive thoughts, make your body feel heavy," explains the Barefoot Doctor (barefootdoctorworld.com). "When you think happy, optimistic thoughts, your body lightens up and your immune system reacts positively, thus affording you more energy, and with more energy you feel happier, and so on."

Raise your energy levels

All the experts agree that fresh air and exercise should be part of your daily plan to keep you fit and invigorate you. This doesn't mean that you have to set aside hours to go to the gym. Incorporate exercise into your daily routine – are there journeys you can make on foot or bicycle rather than the car? Could you set your alarm clock ten minutes earlier, and use those minutes to do a morning stretch routine to kick-start the day? How about joining a salsa or ballroom dancing class?

"Taking up a form of exercise that you enjoy will actually give you energy because working out boosts your brain's 'happy chemicals' in a similar way to anti-depressant drugs," says personal trainer Nicki Waterman (nickiwaterman.com).

Also look at what you eat. Again, experts agree that breakfast is essential and that meals should get lighter as the day wears on. Think of your body like a car – you need the most fuel at the start of the journey, not at the end. Eat little and often so that your food is easily digested, and cut back on processed and refined food of all kinds.

"Have a good protein-packed breakfast and then eat something every two to three hours to keep your blood sugar levels steady," recommends Jo Fairley and Sarah Stacey, authors of Feel Fabulous Forever. "Drink eight pints of still, pure water a day and eat lots of fresh fruit and vegetables (ideal as snacks between meals), nuts for proteins, minerals and good fats, seeds such as pumpkin, sunflower, linseed and sesame, which are chock-full of nutrients, wholegrains – (unrefined) wheat, oats, barley, millet, rye and brown rice – which provide good carbs for energy, plus fibre, oily fish for protein and omega-3 fatty acids, live natural yoghurt with beneficial bacteria for your digestive system, and eggs for protein."

Pamper and enjoy yourself

Along with exercise and your daily routine, you also need some space to relax. If you're feeling rushed, take a few minutes for a deep breathing exercise. Stand tall and breathe in as far and for as long as you can, then breathe out in the same way. Repeat several times. With mindful breathing, you calm your mind and regulate your whole rhythm, advises the Barefoot Doctor. Set aside half an hour for a soak in a scented bath listening to soothing music, or treat yourself to a day at a health spa, or join a Pilates or yoga class. This is not self-indulgence, it's a necessary balance to the rigours of your schedule.

Change is also as good as a rest. What have you always wanted to do? Learn a new language? Make your own clothes? Study watercolour painting? Do it. Doing something creative, and that interests you, absorbs your mind to the exclusion of all else and can build your confidence if you find you are good at it.

Above all, enjoy the time you have won for yourself. If you feel happy, relaxed and fulfilled, you'll find it easier to tackle whatever life throws at you.