Here’s our round-up of the latest cosmetic surgery trends that are winging their way across the pond from La-La land…

Want a plain old-fashioned boob job? That is so last week, we’ll have you know. These days, it’s all about getting your bum lifted sky-wards, your tootsies made smaller so you can be dainty of feet, and giving your upper arms a fake bulge (that last one will be for the fellas only… we think).

Boobs
Procedure: Axilla-Plasty
Do you get an annoying little bulge between your bra strap and your underarm? Well, fret no more, for it can now be sucked away by a surgeon. The new axilla-plasty procedure means you can now wear strappy tops with wild abandon, as it corrects any overhanging fat by suctioning it away. The excess skin is then removed, creating a neat, thin scar, which is hidden away in the axilla – or armpit, to you and me.

Celeb fans: Ulrika Jonsson, 44, was one of the first people to have one at the same time as her breast reduction and lift last year, after breastfeeding four kids had really taken its toll on her body.

Bum
Procedure: Brazilian butt lift
Does what it says on the tin. It’s surgery to make you look better than J-Lo in a thong on the beach in Rio – or Lloret de Mar in a Bhs one-piece, as the case may be. It’s one of those Robin Hood type procedures, robbing the rich to pay the poor – in other words, the surgeon takes fat from wherever you have an excess of it, cleans it and reinjects it in your bottom to obtain the ‘desired degree of correction’.

Procedure: Buttock implants
It’s basically a boob job for your bum. Stronger than breast implants (what with you having to sit on them on the bus and the like), they’re made of an elastomer that cannot leak – which is fortunate for saving oneself from appearing incontinent. The implants are placed via a small incision on top of the muscles above the seating area.

Celeb fans: Alicia Duvall, 32, has had a butt lift, and rumour has it that Nicki Minaj’s, 28, shapely derriere is down to a butt job. Kim Kardashian, 30, was long rumoured to have had her famous booty tucked in to shape, until she went to the great lengths of having a bum X-ray to show the world she was all nature’s own work.

Body
Procedure: 3D Superficial Liposuction
Sounds very space age, doesn’t it? 3D SLS sucks fat out of parts of your body where you’d rather it wasn’t hanging around, and is specifically designed to give your body greater definition, a rounded silhouette and make you look hot to trot (out of clothes as well as in them). ‘Regular’ liposuction removes fat only from the deeper fat layers, whereas the 3D kind removes fat from all fat layers and stops remaining fat falling into rolls. Which is always good.

Celeb fans: Non-confirmed, but as one of the pioneers is Dr Laurence Kirwan, a cosmetic surgeon who lists Felicity Kendal 65 as a client and gave Ulrika her new boobies, we can only assume he’s been busy giving the rich and famous shapely new silhouettes.

‘Three Dimensional Superficial Lipo-Sculpture means that I can remove fat from all layers and allows me to really sculpt the body instead of simply reducing the volume of fat,’ he explains. ‘The result is not just a reduction in volume of fat but a shape that replicates the delicate contouring usually associated with the buttocks, hips and thighs. It also leaves the skin with a firmer texture.’

Face
Procedure: The ‘S’ lift
The Short Scar Facelift, or S Lift, is a new express mini-facelift, the sort of thing you can get on your way back from Pret A Manger in your lunch break. Almost. It’s said to make scarring a thing of the past because the incisions are smaller and better hidden and there is a shorter recovery time after the surgery. Everything about this procedure is discreet. The stitches are absorbable and no staples are used, like they are in a full facelift. Also, if you go for the full works, the scar extends into the scalp above the ear and because the skin is elevated, there is more risk of fluid collecting under the skin and delaying healing. Not a problem with the ‘S’ Lift.

And the catch? Okay, of course there is one – it doesn’t last as long as having the full works done. Sigh.

Celeb fans: Because of the lack of telltale scars, there are plenty of sneaky celebs going under our radar to get this done (which explains how they still look as good as they did 10 years ago) and managing to keep it hush-hush, too. The most recent one we know about though is Kris Jenner, 55, the Kardashian family’s matriarch, who had one done in preparation for daughter Kim’s wedding in August. And rumour has it that even the goddess that is Angelina Jolie, 36, might have been under the knife. ‘Angelina appears to have had a procedure done to tighten her lower face, neck, and jaw line such as a mini facelift,’ says surgeon Dr Brian Glatt.

Feet
Procedure: Foot fat pad augmentation
Fat from the tummy area (where there is always plenty to share around) is removed and then injected into the balls of the feet to provide extra cushioning comfort when the need arises to spend all day on 10-inch stilettos.

Procedure: Toe shortening, toe lengthening and foot narrowing
A segment of bone is cut, then fused with an implant to lengthen toes. Alternatively, a segment of bone is removed to shorten toes.

Foot narrowing, also known as the Cinderella procedure, corrects bunions, meaning we shall go to the ball in our skyscraper heels. Perhaps we should get back to the ways of 19th-century China and just start binding our feet, shall we?

Celeb fans: No one of note has admitted to foot surgery as of yet, but we bet our bottom dollar that Victoria Beckham, 37, has got her name on the list to get those unsightly bunions seen to. That’s not too posh now, is it?

And men do it, too!
Abdominal implants and abdominal etching procedures
Abdominal etching is a form of liposuction that promises a flat, tight stomach with greater muscle definition. The surgeon removes excess fat from the stomach, and creates grooves in the remaining fat layers to simulate the appearance of toned abs (otherwise known as cheating). Abdominal implants are also designed to mimic the look of a six-pack, and they can provide an even more defined appearance than abdominal etching. The procedure involves an incision at the belly button, through which the surgeon can place six to eight implants (is your man greedy enough to want an eight-pack, we wonder?). The implants are designed to conform to underlying muscle, and be supple and flexible enough to move with your body.

Celeb fans: Darryn Lyons, 46, the Australian paparazzo, brought the nation’s attention to ab implants when he admitted his sculpted six-pack was the work of a surgeon rather than a bench press when he got his kit off on Celebrity Big Brother. Now, Darryn might well be the least sexy man we have ever clapped eyes on (and we have clapped eyes on John McCririck) but isn’t it supremely unsexy anyway to know that your man’s abs are not nature’s work? Even if they were on George Clooney we think we’d find it all a bit ‘ew’.
 
Pec and bicep implants
Pec implants are basically a boob job for fellas. A moob job, perhaps. Demand, we hear, is on the rise for this new procedure, which claims to enhance the appearance, size and muscular definition of the pectoral muscles. It can also disguise an unfortunate case of man boobs. Bicep implants create muscular definition and fullness in the upper arm area (clearly one for men only – fullness in the upper arm area being at the bottom of all female wish lists). This procedure is said to be specifically for those who, after extensive muscle conditioning, can’t achieve the upper arm toning they desire.

Celeb fans: Unconfirmed rumours suggest that gorgeous Desperate Housewives star, Jesse Metcalfe, 32, has succumbed to the pressures of Tinseltown and opted quick-fix pec implants. And we’ll bet you Darryn Lyons has his Celebrity Big Brother fee earmarked to get some new bulging biceps any day now.

 Images: Getty